America has a calling, but before that...

In his Inaugural Address, President Bush said that "the calling of our time" is for "the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture."

Now hold on there just a minute, George. Some of your most ardent supporters have decided there is a more insidious evil that must first be destroyed. Dr. James C. Dobson and his group Focus on the Family have declared that the very foundation of freedom faces a foe in the form of...are you ready, kids?...SpongeBob Squarepants.

As reported in the New York Times,

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity."

Screw spreading democracy, SpongeBob must be stopped!

The makers of the video denied Dobson's claims:

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family," said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding. Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11 attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association, the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We Are Family," which supports gay youth.

That's a good explanation, but I think the Foundation's lawyer, Mark Barondess, really hit the mark when he said that critics of the video "need medication."