Tuesday, March 13, 2007

If I run for President, here is my entire platform...

Not too long ago, as I was lamenting about the 2008 election, I told someone that maybe I will run for President, and if I do I will run on one issue and one issue alone...my dog.

Her name is Gypsy. She is an Australian Kelpie and is three years old.

My dog would be the answer to every question and the basis for all of my policies. She is highly intelligent and--I think--psychic. She loves everyone and everything (except squirrels and the north wind). She has a potential flaw which could actually turn out to be her biggest asset as a public official. She thinks that all living creatures (except squirrels) are on the planet for the purpose of playing with her. Her enthusiasm and love are so great that she could get anyone to play and have fun, and that could come in mighty handy in many situations.

She has other qualities that would make her a great public servant. She is honest and loyal. She is not easily rattled. Nothing scares her--not other dogs, not vacuum cleaners, not lawn mowers, not thunderstorms. She doesn't even flinch, whine, or howl when sirens go off. Also, Kelpies are major herding dogs. That means that Gypsy is always alert and watchful, as well as very quick and nimble. The herding instinct is so strong she could round up just about any group and keep them together, which could help counter all the partisanship in Congress.

In short, I have yet to see or hear anything from any of the declared candidates that gets me excited, and I think at this point I could offer just as much to the country by presenting my dog.

I'm just hoping that either some more candidates get in the race or the current candidates give me something to work with. If that doesn't happen, I'm thinking about the following for campaign slogans:
  • You might not like me, but you'll love my dog.
  • Washington's already going to the dogs, so how 'bout a dog going to Washington?
I have a few others in mind, but I'm saving them for later...


Anonymous Ray said...

OK, you've got my vote.

3/13/2007 6:16 AM  

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